I
once read an article on The New Yorker on the self-immolation protests of
Tibentan monks in China. I remember (though not certainly) that the Dahlai
Lama, responded to such protests, that if setting yourself on fire was
motivated by anger, than that practice was the religiously righteous. These
kinds of extreme acts, like the ones described in the article always drives me
to awe. As a person who takes faith seriously, I find them also, worth
celebrating –not balloons and cake celebrating, but to sit in silence and
revere the beauty of their strengths and volition.
I’ve
always admired the Jains. As a student who studies and practices Non Violent
Communication (NVC) I’ve always thought that their agency was noble. In my own
practice of NVN (which is a way founded by Marshall Rosenburg that I first learned
of three summers ago and have since been on a path to integrate fully in my
life), I’ve sat with the question of self-regulation vs. compassion. Both feels
in tuned with the path I am choosing to walk on, but walking between them is
sometimes tricky. Passed my early trainings, and “glowy stage,” when I started
to confront more challenges and doubts, I held on to discipline as a way to
respond. Discipline felt like something I never fully achieved in life, often I
am told that I am enthusiastic and spontaneous, not controlled or reserved. So
I tried that for a year or so, but this summer my practice led me to focus on
being gentle and compassionate towards myself. And although my intention on
discipline has enriched my practice in many ways, it has also deprived me of
feeling not enough.
“What
blind most of us to this realization and makes us behave with wanton disregard
for other lives, and so for our own real interests, are our passion.” As a
passionate person, I felt guilty and worried reading this. Am I trapping my
immortal soul in my mortal body because I love? Maybe I am relating so
personally to the values of Jainism because I agree with the logic and I see it
with admiration.
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